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My mind is blank, but it also feels like I have 100 different thoughts going through it at once.

I wrote a short story and all the people I asked to read it said it was great and they enjoyed it.

It scared my mom because it was an intense story about an abused woman, and she was worried that it was based on real life experiences. I told her it wasn’t. It really wasn’t. I have been treated like absolutely garbage by men but never abused physically.

I don’t think I am going to have people close to me read my stories or books I will write in the future. It really is like letting them into the darkest recesses of your mind. They can’t help but judge.

I haven’t been in the mood to write anything of substance lately, so I am just free-writing.

I am still not working at the moment and school starts in about a week. I have enough money to pay bills for the next 2 months, so I have to find a job at least in 2 months.

I wish I could find a good work from home job. I don’t want to answer phones, I’d like to do one of those chat customer service things.

I am going to watch Blue Planet and go to sleep.

Should I post my short story on here?

I always do this.

I start blogs and then never write in them. I don’t want to do that anymore. Even though no one reads my stuff, I still need to write. After all, I want to write a book one day, so a blog is a good place to start.

Over the summer I haven’t been taking classes. Basically I am broke and the government said “Fuck you, no more monies” and I didn’t have the funds to pay for college. I will start going again in Oklahoma, when we move.

Craziest thing though….just like any 20-something, I don’t know what the hell I want to do with my life. When I was 10 I wanted to be a veterinarian. When I was 11-21 I wanted to a police officer, and then I gave that a shot and didn’t like it. Recently I thought I wanted to be a psychologist, but am wondering if I’d really be happy listening to other peoples problems all day. Money isn’t everything. Currently I work as a cashier. It was for a seasonal position. I did a great job apparently, and even though they knew I was going to be moving in 2 months, they kept me on permanently and gave me a raise.

I used to be a people person, but being around people ruined that.

I absolutely cannot stand retail. I need to get out of it ASAP. But what is next for me? The boyfriend got his CDL and is out of town driving trucks all around California and Oregon. I am at home alone working a part time job and wondering what the hell I am doing. Sometimes people make life seem so simple…and it truly is. Just be happy. And I am..so truly happy and grateful for all that I have. But I have got to get out of this job where I constantly want to punch people in the throat. It’s not healthy.

I’d rather work with inmates inside of a jail (last job) than deal with the general public. At least at the jail if someone was disrespectful to you, you could send them to lock down and tell them to shut the f*ck up. Can’t exactly do that in retail…not out loud anyways.

Next goal: Find out what I want to do with my life!!! I’m 27, not getting any younger…..F*ck I feel old…and chubby….but mostly just old.