It’s been raining all day in Oklahoma. It hasn’t let up. Not even once. It feels like a cleansing, of sorts. The past few months have been extremely difficult for me, and my futile attempts of maintaining my sanity failed miserably. I suppose the fact that I made it to the age of 30 without having a mental breakdown was a feat in itself. I should be proud. Instead, I remain doubtful. I feel great. Thanks to the anti-depressants? My mind feels clear. I didn’t know that my “normal” was not normal. I didn’t realize that not everyone’s mind raced constantly. I didn’t realize that my level of overthinking every situation was something otherwise known as anxiety. I wonder, would the way my mind worked before be enough to drive someone else mad? It drove me mad. I broke. I am fixing myself though. Meditation. Working out (which I’ve been consistent with all year). I am bettering myself. And my self love has grown immensely. Like Selena Gomez said, “I needed to lose you to find me.”
Rain, rain…please don’t go away.