I could never have you.

I knew I could never have you. You were like a fresh, sweet carrot dangled in front of my eyes. They grew wide with want and need. And I did get you. A small part of you. But I knew I could never truly have you. That’s why I stood in the doorway of your bedroom watching you sleep. Why I knew it was goodbye before we even said hello. Still, something inside of me continued to echo, “what if?”. What if I’ve found something I never thought I could have? A beautiful man with perfect teeth and the body of an Adonis. But just like most what if’s I ended up heart broken.

I knew I could never have you from the moment you looked at me with your fake smile that didn’t seem to reach your eyes completely. The moment you kissed me and it didn’t feel like forever, it felt like a right now.

Damn my heart, for all it’s what if’s.

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