Lately I’ve been waking up with puffy eyes and a headache. I make it through the day just fine but it seems like when I get home the weight of life just comes crashing down. Working full-time, making it to the gym (my therapy) 5 days a week and getting my coursework done is difficult in itself. Add a heartbreak on top of that and I suppose it’s easy to see why life feels so heavy lately. It reminds me of this song by K Flay that I’ve been listening to a lot lately, “You felt right to me.”
I hadn’t had a good thing in a long time
Moving in the fast lane with the wrong guy
I don’t really know why
But you felt right to me
I guess I am just left wondering why the universe felt the need to bring Greg* into my life. When it was just going to end the way it did. So abruptly and without good reason. I suppose further down the line I might find out what lesson I needed to learn from it all but right now it just seems pointless. I didn’t need another heartbreak. Perhaps this was supposed to show me how terrible I am at protecting my heart and that I need to stop recklessly letting people into it before I truly know them. I know there are shit people out in the world, I have met many of them, I certainly didn’t need to meet another, especially of the male gender.
As each day goes on I feel better. Perhaps tonight I won’t feel like listening to sad songs and crying. Maybe I’ll feel stronger tonight. I am taking the rest of the week off from the gym. I’m not ready to see him BUT, that’s my gym and I WILL be back on Saturday. I will just focus on yoga and meditation this week. Deload.