I’m having a hard time in this world.

I quit my job today.

I quit most of my jobs.

It’s become a reckless and impulsive habit I have developed. When I was younger it used to just be “whatever”. Now that I’m older it’s just becoming a hassle. I quit the job before last because my manager was a belittling jerk, constantly talking down to me, snapping at me and completely unappreciative of the hard work I put in. I never called in sick, never came in late, had great communication and customer service, and yet it was never good enough. She was toxic, the office was toxic (literally, the other girl I worked with had terrible breath) and so I left. I put my 2 weeks in and I left. I made it 1 year exactly. I’ve never felt better about leaving a job.

This most recent job I quit today was delivering packages for Amazon. I worked for a 3rd party delivery service provider. The company itself was good, my boss was good, the dispatchers were clueless but friendly. I enjoyed working with the other drivers. I work hard with any job I have, with this hard work came shitty routes. I was constantly put on extremely difficult routes, downtown, by the capitol building. The most difficult part about it was that we weren’t trained on a dedicated route like UPS or Fedex. We were just sent somewhere we’d never been and expected to maneuver a giant van around. It was frustrating and I told them this. The next day, SAME ROUTE. I held it together. Today, for the 3rd time, I was put on another shitty route.

Just to clear it up, if you work hard and are a good driver they give you extremely difficult and shitty routes because they have faith you can do them, but if you’re lazy and slow they put you on the easier routes. Makes sense….

So I called mid-route and told them I quit. They tried to convince me to stay, told me I could take my time, but I had had enough.

Once again, I am almost 30 years old without a job. It’s scary but also satisfying. I don’t have to worry about going back to work, dreading the stress and wondering which route I will be on the next day.

Now what?

I just can’t work the 9-5 Monday through Friday. I feel myself dying inside a little more each day. I don’t enjoy interacting with customers and dealing with people, I obviously don’t want to be a package delivery driver. I’d love to be my own boss, start my own company. Everyone else does too.

I guess I am stuck. Applying for pizza delivery jobs, driving for Doordash. It’s an uncomfortable feeling knowing there isn’t a steady stream of money going into your bank account each week. This job I had was perfect on paper. Three day work week, 4 days off. $15 an hour. But at a certain point, which I reached today, that just isn’t enough compensation for the stress.

I think I am going to try to write a book. A short one. About something I know a lot about. Then publish it on Amazon books or kindle or somewhere electronically. Let’s see how that goes.

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