I am lost.

I am lost in this world. I look forward all week to my days off work, and then I find myself to be depressed when they finally arrive. All day today I was depressed. I made my way out of the house and to the store. I know my aura sucked. I wonder if I ooze sadness and despair. Is it obvious to see? I find that those around me get stuck on such trivial and silly subjects. Things that won’t matter a few days from now get them upset and they dwell. They treat others poorly.

I have to put in my 2 weeks at work tomorrow to get out of the toxic environment in that office.

The women I work with are so unhappy with their lives and the roles they play in them that they feel they need to make others feel bad about themselves. It’s terrible. It doesn’t matter how hard I try to get a thicker skin…meditate, write….I still let it get to me. Being an intelligent empath is destroying me.

It’s destroying me. It’s destroying me. It’s destroying me. And I don’t know what to do. Soon I will probably not have a job. Back to the Postmates and Uber hustle. If I can make $100 a day I can pay my bills. The stress makes my chest tight and I can’t sleep.

I always try to look at the bigger picture. The bigger picture in this case is that I need to have my bills paid because I need to be able to eat and have a place to live. I cannot stay at my job. I will end up getting into an argument with my boss that will ruin everything…so I need to get out while I can.

This world is destroying me one day at a time.

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