I always do this.

I start blogs and then never write in them. I don’t want to do that anymore. Even though no one reads my stuff, I still need to write. After all, I want to write a book one day, so a blog is a good place to start.

Over the summer I haven’t been taking classes. Basically I am broke and the government said “Fuck you, no more monies” and I didn’t have the funds to pay for college. I will start going again in Oklahoma, when we move.

Craziest thing though….just like any 20-something, I don’t know what the hell I want to do with my life. When I was 10 I wanted to be a veterinarian. When I was 11-21 I wanted to a police officer, and then I gave that a shot and didn’t like it. Recently I thought I wanted to be a psychologist, but am wondering if I’d really be happy listening to other peoples problems all day. Money isn’t everything. Currently I work as a cashier. It was for a seasonal position. I did a great job apparently, and even though they knew I was going to be moving in 2 months, they kept me on permanently and gave me a raise.

I used to be a people person, but being around people ruined that.

I absolutely cannot stand retail. I need to get out of it ASAP. But what is next for me? The boyfriend got his CDL and is out of town driving trucks all around California and Oregon. I am at home alone working a part time job and wondering what the hell I am doing. Sometimes people make life seem so simple…and it truly is. Just be happy. And I am..so truly happy and grateful for all that I have. But I have got to get out of this job where I constantly want to punch people in the throat. It’s not healthy.

I’d rather work with inmates inside of a jail (last job) than deal with the general public. At least at the jail if someone was disrespectful to you, you could send them to lock down and tell them to shut the f*ck up. Can’t exactly do that in retail…not out loud anyways.

Next goal: Find out what I want to do with my life!!! I’m 27, not getting any younger…..F*ck I feel old…and chubby….but mostly just old.

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