Broken dishes

Oh man, it’s been so long since I wrote anything. Well, anything that wasn’t for my English class. I was having the worst day yesterday. And it wasn’t even a bad day. The sun was shining, my boyfriend and I were doing fine. But my hormones decided to wage a war inside of my body and I went absolutely insane.

My poor boyfriend gets home from work, and I tell him I think it sucks that he doesn’t even kiss me anymore or hug me when he gets home. He feels extremely bad and apologizes and gives me all sorts of love and hugs. (Let me add here, I got mad at him a while back for totally jumping me and holding me against my will when he gets home because he is so excited to see me. The point: I just can’t make up my mind)

I feel depressed. Like abnormally so. I have no job. ( I had to quit mine because they were working me massive amounts of overtime and I was falling behind in school). I am home all day, and of course my boyfriend still works at the same place I used to. (We met there). Yesterday, I was pissed. And for no reason whatsoever. So I finally muster up the courage to make myself a sandwich. I go into the kitchen to get a plate and presumably drop it on the tile kitchen floor. I watch it in slow motion as I am expecting it to break. It doesn’t. Thanks Corelle, you really are telling the truth in your commercials. I pick up said plate, throw it in the sink with all my might…still doesn’t break, thought you might be wondering….and run into the bedroom where I get under the covers and continue to sob for the better half of a minute.

My boyfriend, who is undoubtedly scared out of his mind right now, creeps into the bedroom. He sits on the bed next to me and starts rubbing my head and asking me what’s wrong. I mumble some stuff and he sits there a little longer and then gets up and says

“I am going to go use the restroom.”

I wait. And wait. No boyfriend. So now that I am calm, I walk out into the living room and realize he is shaving his head and taking a shower. THE NERVE!! He is supposed to be consoling me and being a good boyfriend and making me feel better. So when he finally gets out of the bathroom I ask him if I made him mad. He says no all confused like. I said, well you sure hauled ass out of there fast and left me all alone in the middle of my break down…

He said he thought I’d rather be alone and have some time to calm down. At this point I’m like wow okay. So as I am sitting on the couch again this wave of anger starts coming over me once more. I can’t even explain where it’s coming from. Like a possession occurring. I get up from the couch and my boyfriend says “Babe, are you alright?” I yell “NO! I AM HAVING A TERRIBLE FUCKING DAY!!”

And run into the bedroom and slam the door. It takes about a minute and in comes boyfriend. He sits with me again and talks me through everything that is running through my head. He does a great job making me feel better and then as an end thought asks me not to slam doors because it scares him.

Today, I feel right as rain. I did a little meditating. Got out of the house and did some grocery shopping. And myself 2 glasses of moscato.

So the lessons I have learned from the last 24 hours are:

  1. Really appreciate amazing boyfriends who love you and truly care about you. And can handle you through your PMS…because holy shit, it can’t be easy.
  2. Never be afraid to apologize. I know it was just my hormones yesterday, but FUCK, he must have thought I was off my rocker. So an apology means a lot. Apologize for mother nature, its not like she can do it herself.
  3. Meditate. I used to do it all the time and I was such a happier person. I have decided to start it up again and I already feel better after just 1 session.

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